Planning for a Marriage, Not Just a Wedding


Your wedding is one of the most important and biggest days of your life. You could spend years planning and preparing for it. You might spend thousands of dollars on it. You’ll perfect every tiny detail and take your time to make sure you’ve got the wedding of your dreams. It might be all that you can think about in the months before the big day, and it could take over your every waking moment. You’ll be so excited that you can’t sleep and your to-do list will run into pages and pages of notes.

But, then what? We spend the early part of our relationship in a state of permanent excitement and nerves. Then, at some point, when we realize that this is the person that we want to spend the rest of our life with, we start to think about getting married. Even before we’re engaged, we might be thinking about our wedding, seen as we know that is where this is going. But, it’s just one day. Once your wedding day is over, there’s your marriage, which you might find that you have given very little thought. Let’s take a look at some ways that you can plan for your marriage and not just your wedding day.

How Do Your Five Year Plans Look?

Where do you want to be in five years? Both personally and professionally. Do you want to start your own business, or gain promotions? Do you want to move house, or live in a new area? Write down some goals and ask your partner to do the same. How do they line up?  It’s time to start thinking about how your plans will fit into your plans as a couple.

Plan for Constant Communication

In the early days, we talk to each other all the time. We text and message all day. We phone each other on our lunch breaks, and we sit up talking late into the night. As your days start to fit together more, this begins to fade out. But, you need to communicate. Set rules for each other, like texting once a day to check in, talking for an hour before you turn the TV on after work. The more that you do together, the more you’ll have in common so make trying new things a priority.

What Will You Do if You Run into Problems?

Promise each other right now that you won’t bottle things up. Make sure that when you have problems or arguments, you will deal with them whether this means having a good clear the air chat or looking for non religious marriage retreats to help.

Do you Want a Family?

Before you get married, talk about your family plans. This is one of the most important things that you need to agree on. If you both want children, talk about how long you want to wait and try to make at least a vague plan for your family life.

Have the Money Conversation

Money is a big thing that many couples argue aboutIf one of you is a spender and the other a saver, or if you’ve got different priorities for your money, it might be worth setting a few ground rules, like expenses over $100 need to be agreed upon first.

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